Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Getting off the Bench...

As a coach's wife, I have tried to train myself to stay quiet during games, support from the sidelines, keep the home-front going so he can find success on the field, etc.  Most coach's wives have mastered one-pot and crockpot meals, picnic dinners, packing the car with blankets and chairs and entertainment for the kids, time management for getting to games and so much more.

We pride ourselves in being behind the scenes and off to the side.

But now I'm getting off the bench because this year is now different.

This year there is no softball.

Today it was officially canceled by our state athletic association. 

Our seniors are devastated.

Our underclassmen are frustrated.

Our coach is heartbroken.

Our kids are sad.

And I'm at a loss. 

Spring means softball.  It means the insanity of managing three different seasons at three different fields every day of the week.  It means packing the car for every type of weather, including snow, and being okay with it.  It means getting friends to help out with carpooling while trying to make as many games as possible.  It means getting creative with keeping the 5-year-old entertained while we head to another game. It  means packing dinners that stay warm for the player to eat later.

It is seeing the young women he coaches mature and grow as individuals and teammates.

It is watching them interact with our kids.

It is experiencing growth in our own children as they see how the players deal with losses and failures and successes.

But not this year.

It's hard not to feel selfish mourning the loss of a game when there are so many heavier losses happening right now. 

But it's not just a game. 

It's seeing the girls come back after a disappointing season.  It's seeing them work hard in the off-season to improve their skills.  It's seeing them join together after a game, win or loss, and laugh and dance and stay connected.  It's seeing them mow through more food than the D-line during team dinners.  It's seeing them interact with my husband and help him grow as a coach, a teacher, a husband, and a father.

But not this year. 

And I'm not sure what to do.

It can't be changed or shifted or improved or fixed.  I just have to watch it.  Like I've done so many games but there are no games.  I can hug my husband as he gets teary calling the seniors.  I can comfort the kids who lose out on the "fun" parts of the game days.  I can tuck the supplies I bought in anticipation away for next year.

Because there will be a next year.  Too much has been lost this year to sit idle.  So I'm getting off the bench. 

I'm getting off the bench by staying home.  I'm going to do my part to keep the larger community safe so our scientists and doctors can help those who are sick and develop the vaccines we will need so next year, I can sit on the bench and cheer on my girls and my coach.

Get off the bench by staying home and staying healthy.